i am sorry about the way i slighted you that night when i told you
i was not able to sleep with you
even though it was in my right
you were hurt
you thought i did not find you beautiful
but darling i did
i am sorry i lost my temper at your parents house
and cried in your bed while you socialized with your brother (home from college with his girlfriend)
and made you fee like you were dating a nutcase
we left later that day and as i said goodbye to your family
i knew it was for the last time.
II.
i am sorry you were never enough for me and that instead of talking to you about it
i left you out in the cold
you see the heart sometimes doesn’t realize the love it needs
until its too late
i see you around sometimes and it still aches
it still aches and the sadness you left with me still calls out your name when you walk by
but i don’t deserve your love and i don’t think i ever really did
and i see you with her and i smile and clutch my hands together
and ignore the burning in my chest.
III.
i am sorry i wasn’t the person you needed or the person you wanted but you did love me and i did really love love you
but you say i changed your life and you say that the way you love(ed) me was…
(but i digress)
you put me in sad and hurtful situations and because of that there are apologies that you owe me that i still have to hear
i think about you at my lowest points and i’ve realized that our love was the kind that could never float
or swim in any body of water
but the kind that sinks
and stays there.